The Email

Dear C,

My sincere apologies for the delay in writing this email.
As requested I am writing an email about my life.
I am performing near or at expectations.

Currently my life involves getting up at 6.45am, getting ready for work and leaving my house at 7.30am. I get into work at around 8.00am where I go about my random tasks (speaking of random tasks, did you know that the guy who played Random Task in the first Austin Powers movie was recently put in jail for torture and rape? Who’d have thought! But I digress!)

My house is going fine. I appear to be very messy. It is such a burden to be both messy and a clean freak at the same time. I mean, I want things to be really clean but I don’t have the time (cant be bothered) to clean up!!
I am considering hiring a cleaner but have no idea how to go about it! I mean, do you think I just go and find a Mexican like they do in The States? (or the European Mexican equivalent……..Eastern European?)
I’m guessing I don’t give them a key, which means I have to be there when they are cleaning?….making awkward small talk…
“so how long have you been in a cleaner….?”
“do you miss the mother country…?”
“so that’s what the attachment on the hoover is for…!”
…the effort of that!!!

But living along is fun!  I like it loads. Work is soul destroying but pays the mortgage so I cant complain!

How goes your apartment? And your life? We should meet up soon!

Apologies for the Dawson Creek thing…….liar!

Kindest of Regards,


A Letter to my 16-Year-Old Self

Inspired by THIS…even if I am a few days late.

Hello 16-Year-Old Me!

I know a small part of you likes to believe in magic, so you’ll be really cool about this letter and you won’t question it’s legitimacy.
Or freak out.

I don’t really know where to begin.
You’ll be starting your final year in school next week and I’m warning you now not to wish it all away.
I’m also going to warn you that you’re going to have to endure a double period of French for the whole year and yes you’ll still have Mrs O’Kennedy and yes she’s still going to be pure evil.
On the plus side, you’ll be sitting in between your bessie Sarah and your Good Friend Gillian who will be lovely enough to bail you out when you can’t do your homework.

Anyway, Sixth Year is going to be amazing!
Your parents will continue to be horrible control freaks, but you’ll begin to start wriggling out of their grasp this year and things are never going to be the same again.
You’re going to love life!!

Keep listening to Busted: their albums will get you through both Leaving Certs.
Oh yeah, you won’t get enough points for Physiotherapy this year cos they skyrocket, but please don’t be disappointed, because you’ll repeat in Rathmines College and even though you still won’t get the points you need, you’re going to look back on it as possibly being the best year of your life so far. (I’m only 23 now, so that may change!)

You’ll actually end up doing Journalism, thanks to Mrs Lynch forcing you to apply for some sort of writing course.
You’ll be accepted for it this year instead of Physio, but turn it down and do that Repeat Year because you need that extra year to mature socially.
Trust me!
It’s no big deal…you’ll be offered Journalism again and still be one of the younger ones in college when you start!

I’m to going address some things I know you are worrying about at the moment:
1. Yes, your boobs have finished growing and yes, that’s all you’ve been given.
2. As you know, your hair looks terrible. This will be helped by the GHD you get for your birthday in April, but it’ll still take a few extra years to sort it out.
3. Another thing you’re aware of is the fact you look a little bit hideous at the moment and you should know that this will last a while longer. You’ll have to wait until you’re 18 for your first kiss and Eiffel 65’s Blue will be playing in the background even though it’s 2005. Things look up from there though!
4. Buffy will ALWAYS be cool, but Scrubs will run its course.

I don’t want to give too much away, because you need to have stuff to look forward to and there are A LOT of amazing things going to happen during the next seven years.
The internet is going to be REALLY big, as will this stupid thing called Twitter.
Social networking is also a bandwagon that needs jumping on!
You should start a blog when you get to college.
I started mine after college when life was 50-times less exciting and I’m very annoyed I missed out on so much good material.

You’re going to have your heart broken a few times and you’re going to make some HORRIFIC mistakes in that area of your life.
Part of me wants to warn you about this, because you lose a lot of your innocence and trust and your good nature during these times and you never really recover.
But I think, all in all, they’re life experiences that makes you appreciate the boy we have right now and they will also help your writing.

Life really is going to surpass your expectations on most levels and you’re going to get to experience the most amazing things and do some really great stuff!
There’s always going to be some bad stuff, but you just have to try and concentrate on the good things. It’s going to be hard to do, but you have to keep trying.

Oh and I know you were really scared about how you were last summer and you think you’re fine now, but it’s not the end of it.
You’ll find out in 2010 that you suffer from depression, and although the next few years will be really happy times, during your last year in college, it’s going to kick you in the ass.
You’re also going to have very little support during that year because the people in your life will be very wrapped up in their own bits and bobs and won’t notice anything is wrong with you -unfortunately a few will think you’re just being boring or a bitch, and even though it’ll hurt that they didn’t know you enough or care enough to realise that it wasn’t ‘you’ and it was completely out of character,  screw ’em.
I’m telling you this not to scare you, but because if you get help from the start, you’ll have a much easier time than I’m having.

I know you feel a lot older than your years right now and I know you feel like your childhood was stolen from you, but during the next four years, you’ll feel like God gave you a second chance at it….and it’s AWESOME!

You’re going to continue to be disillusioned by a lot of your friends.
I know you like to see the best in people and you like to be loyal and give a lot of yourself, but it’d do our hearts a favour if you were less nice to some of them.
They’re going to use you and you’ll never understand how or why.
Some people are self-obsessed, some people are fake, people are selfish and some are just plain mean.
That’s all the insight I’ve gained so far!
You will however befriend a few really great people, including Sarah, who seven years later you still want to be your bridesmaid!

So that’s that!
Keep doing what you’re doing and try not to lose your kindness, because I miss it!
Stop worrying about things, because I’ve put your mind at ease for the next seven years!
Let me do the worrying and you enjoy your life!

23-year-old Me.

PS: You’re going to your Debs without a date.
You might be embarrassed at the time, but later on, you’ll be proud you didn’t opt for a ‘pity date’.
Plus, you have a lovely date for you Clubs and Society’s Ball in 2007 🙂
PPS: Your stubborn nature will get you into some trouble along the way -work on it.
PPPS: Although I love your moral-ness, nobody is perfect so you should cut people some slack now and again!