The Magic Faraway SpreePosted: September 14, 2011
“I’m sooooo poor,” I sighed dramatically, flopping into a spare chair beside Work Chum.
“Me too,” she said forlornly.
“I just don’t have any money anymore,” I said. “It’s all gone on rent and bills and groceries, although I used to have more left over than I do now…I don’t know what’s happened!”
“I hate being an adult,” she said, thumping down on her keyboard.
“Yeah, me too!” I agreed. “I miss shopping. I miss it so much. My wardrobe just seems so stale and boring now. I need lots of money – a second job or a Lotto win maybe?” I added another dramatic sigh for effect. “I could do with a good healthy shopping spree! I really need a nice new winter coat and some lovely dresses. And shoes! And skirts that aren’t halfway up my arse, because I appear not to have bought a skirt since I was 19 and in college, when it was acceptable to have skirts that short.”
Work Chum laughed.
“And oh God, I need to revamp my underwear drawer,” I said, swinging in the swivel chair. “It’s just depressing at this stage and girls need nice underwear.”
“Yup,” she agreed.
“Not that I have manky greying knickers or anything,” I clarified quickly. “But you know, living with your long-term boyfriend means you stop worrying about how pretty your underwear is or if you’ve nice matching sets. He already knows all your girl secrets and how lace and silk is not a daily occurrence.”
I thought for a second.
“Where do you even by nice underwear these days when you’re an adult?” I asked. “I used to go to La Senza but that’s kind of tacky now.”
“Yeah, I never go there,” Work Chum told me. “I go to M&S.”
“Yup or Brown Thomas.”
“Oh yeah, there are some beautiful pieces in there, but they’re all so expensive,” I said.
She nodded. “But I have to go to those places to get bras to fit me.”
“You’re so lucky though,” I told her.
She shook her head. “No, it’s not that fun.”
“Eh, not that fun is being a AA cup up until about two years ago. I was was stuck with training bras or the occasional teeny A cup,” I told her. “It was only when I went on The Pill that I actually got boobs and even now…” I looked down. “Well they’re getting smaller again, because I’ve come off it…I should really get back on it. Just for boobs.”
“Ha, ha ha ha, ‘just for boobs’. But seriously it’s tough,” she told me. “And the bras don’t look that nice – they’re HUGE!”
I laughed. “At least it’s feminine though! You have a lovely curvy shape! I just go straight down in a line.”
“It’s so stressful,” she said.
“Indeed it is,” I agreed. “I think I’ll just go back to vests.”