The Kissing Game

It’s tough, you know.
I’d forgotten.
I’d even become a little cocky about my own abilities.
Four years of kissing just one boy makes you an expert.
An expert in kissing that one boy.
And possibly in any other boy who kisses exactly like him.

But not an expert in kissing as an art.

I’m off my game.
I automatically start in a certain way and then there’s a ‘gah’ moment when I realise that it’s really not working.
Not in this situation.
Not with this boy.

So I have to adjust my methods.
It’s awkward.
And not helped by that fact that I’m usually tipsy when it happens.
I don’t know where to move or what to do or what angle to work.
I have a system that I now have to abandon and start from scratch.
Left or right?
Light kissing?
Oh so you do that with your tongue.
And your hands are there….already?
Why aren’t you hands there yet!?
Oh God, am I going to0 fast?
Am I being a slutty kisser!?

*grabs the paper bag to stop the hysterics*

And this is just the kissing part.
This is supposed to be the easy part!

I hate being bad at things.
I have a horrible character flaw of trying for about 5mins to do something and if I’m not automatically awesome at it, I get unbelievably frustrated and I pack it in.
Obviously that’s left me able to do very few things well.
So far I have ‘eating’ and ‘sarcasm’.

I’m quite fond of kissing though, so I’d rather not give up in this case.
I’m just going to have to find someone I can kiss amazingly INSTANTLY.
Not much to ask, right?

Surely it’s not supposed to be this stressful….


15 Comments on “The Kissing Game”

  1. Magatha May says:

    you just need lots and lots of practice 😉

  2. I echo the previous comment – lots and lots of practice makes everything better!

  3. gaaaaah! And I’ve even haven’t had my first kiss yet! At least I’m not the only one who’s scared of what they’re supposed to do and stuff!!!


  4. BeckyDazzler says:

    It is sooo fantastic to have you back! Missed your posts so much! x

  5. They lie in the movies, I tell ya! Look at Bridget Jones and Mr D’Arcy! I’d say a kiss like that is almost impossible on the first go. If you have an experience contrary to this – I’m expecting a post! Ha 🙂

  6. ena says:

    I just plan to never ever kiss anyone again until the priest or whoever says you may kiss the bride. I think its a fine plan!. i’m terrified and probably a crap score!

  7. Or biting – when is it too much?? I just go with the rhythm, unless that rhythm is like a dishwasher! So wait, what are you not with the boy anymore?!

  8. lil-bee says:

    Brilliant as always 😀 😀
    CC, your posts always make my day 😀

  9. Karin says:

    Ha, am in roughly the same boat… my friends keep telling me practise makes perfect, and who am I to ignore their good advice.. 😛

  10. Skinni Peach says:

    ah no it aint stressful….its all fun! defo practice like a mad yoke for a while yet!

  11. terra says:

    This is such a true point – when you’re used to kissing someone for years and years, it’s easy. You don’t have to think about it. First kisses are almost always awkward for this exact reason.

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