The New Rules

While I do miss Him and just being in a relationship, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying being properly single for the first time in about six years.
Sure there are the Blue Periods and moments where your heart hurts and breathing become difficult, but all in all, The Single Life is quite pleasant.
I feel my age again, free of the stress of saving for a mortgage or  trying to stick to Our Five Year Plan.
I go out on week nights again (something that’s made a lot easier since moving into the heart of the city), I’m strengthening relationships with old friends and I’ve the time and energy to start new friendships.

One downside though is having to rejig friendships with a couple of my guy friends.
I’ve always had far more male friends than female, and for years, I’ve been One Of The Lads, which was refreshing and comfortable – I just didn’t realise the reason this was so easy for me to achieve in some cases was because I had a boyfriend.
Someone to put a ‘This Girl Is A No-Go’ sign around my neck.
(not literally…cos that would be weird…and very Edward Cullen-esque)

But now the sign is gone.
And suddenly those easy relationships have a new twist.
And Jesus, I don’t mean that every boy I know is throwing himself at me (pffft, ‘as if’, to quote Cher), but in some cases, things have shifted.
The easy relationship isn’t so easy anymore.
Things aren’t a straightforward black-and-white and there’s a deliberate drifting into the grey.
Any physical contact leaves you wondering What Was Meant By That, whereas six month ago I could’ve sat on their laps for hours with the greatest of ease and no awkwardness whatsoever.
Suddenly the term I Always Had A Thing For You is being thrown around.
And even worse, YOU’RE starting to look at THEM differently.
They’re not the Kid-Brother Type anymore – they’re A Boy you get on really well with and What Does That Mean!?
You have When Harry Met Sally on repeat, which you watch while shouting “Shut up, Harry! We can be friends! We Can! We Can!…can’t we?”

Don’t get me wrong.
In most cases it’s been fine.
In fact, most of my guy friends have rallied around me and adopted Protective Brother roles.
But there are a couple that have been difficult.
The Rules have changed.
And so I’ve had to change to suit them.


6 Comments on “The New Rules”

  1. I found that too after I broke up with the guy I was going out with for nearly five years. I too was busy living like a boring grown-up, worrying about nutrition and savings rather than having fun, so needless to say being single was about having as much fun as possible and there were lots of moments of ‘so, what’s going on here?’ with certain friends.

  2. I think that you’re really well with being single! I think that it IS possible to have guy friends, but just make it clear to them that it’s just friendship!

    Oh, how I envy to live in a city like you…!!

    Jules x

  3. That’s really interesting, when you’re in a relationship you forget about the rules of being single. And where do you find all your photos? They’re great.

  4. lil-bee says:

    Ugh, I totally know what you mean .. hate when this happens 😦 but I guess somewhere deep (deeeeeep) down in the cases where this happens, there was a bit of dangerous flirting / feelings which we totally didn’t think much off till singledom slapped us in the face and we’re left going oh .. OH.

    Lol, btw I’m such a huge economics geek .. the first thing I thought of when I read Five Year Plan was the economic plans laid out by communist / planned economies. Haha .. um, I’m gonna shut up and retrieve to my hidden geek corner 🙂

  5. hila says:

    I know exactly what you mean, really. without going into too much personal detail about my own life at the moment, I can totally empathise with a lot of this.

  6. terra says:

    That’s tough. I want so much for men and women to be friends without any sort of feelings cropping up, but it’s hard sometimes. Good luck with the rules!

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