The Crazy Heart

“He’s going out with that slut!”
I looked up from my computer at Work Chum.
“What?” I said, extracting my earphones from my ears.
“They’re going out!” she said.
“How do you know?”
“I saw pictures of them on Facebook. And she had her foot up on the table! She’s so skanky!”
“And unhygienic. Pictures of what? Show me,” I told her.
She got out her iPhone, found the damning evidence and handed it to me.
I looked at it.
Me: That’s a picture of her shoe…
Work Chum: An ugly shoe!
Me: Yes, ok they are horrible shoes. But it’s a shoe and him and his friend in the background. It’s hardly proof of anything.
Work Chum: But she’s hanging out with him and his friends! She’s meeting his best friends!
Me: Maybe she’s friends with his friends.
Work Chum: Not his best friends who are the ones he goes drinking with who are the ones that are there.
Me: Well maybe there are other people there as well and they’re just not in this one picture that was taken.
Work Chum: There’s definitely something going on. They’ve been talking on Facebook.
Me: That doesn’t mean anything.
Work Chum: I have really good instincts about things like this.
Me: Well sure, yes, she has been kind of throwing herself at him, but I don’t think it’s mutual. Don’t worry about it.

A few hours later….
Email from Work Chum: Oh God, she stayed with him last night and now they’re out eating ice-cream!!
Email from Me: How do you know?
Email from Work Chum: He put a picture of them eating ice-cream on his Facebook page.
Email from The Roomie: Are you sure he is seeing her? If he is that is really insensitive to put up a pic of them.
Email from Work Chum: Ok I need to see the photo on a bigger screen, there is a possibility that it’s actually his friend’s hand and not yer wan….therefore the YAY comment is actually funny and the whole ice cream thing is even funnier cos it’s just a couple of boys out for the day
Email from The Roomie: Oh cool so it may not be her?! Send us the pic and we can guess…

Me: Work Chum, that’s a picture of two hands holding an ice-cream cone each! That doesn’t mean anything!!!! It’s probably not even her hand!!

A few more hours later….
Text from Work Chum: I don’t think it’s her hand. I had a look at her photos and her hands are quite small and chubby. I’d say it’s his friend’s.
Text from Me: Amazing! Now return to being happy like you were earlier when I was talking sense into you!
Text from Work Chum: Lol!!! I’m a loser…
Text from Me: No you’re not! Shush!
Text from Work Chum: Hahahaha ok, I’m a crazy stalker bitch and any man would be crazy to take me on! Crazy!
Text from Me: Crazy stalker bitch – more commonly known as “being a girl”. πŸ™‚


7 Comments on “The Crazy Heart”

  1. whisty says:

    Ye gads, this brings back some cringe memories.
    Poor work chum, being a broken-hearted girl, hurts. Facebook is evil for messing with said girl head!!
    I sure am glad it wasn’t around the last time i had my heart done over! Xx

  2. hahaha! What a great post! I just hope that it’s not The Boy!! :p


  3. Oh poor Work Chum! Facebook would have me driven to distraction if I was in her situation, the stalking possibilities are just a much too much!

  4. ciara says:

    Brillant keep up the good work πŸ˜€

  5. Are you sure I’m not your work chum? *nervous laugh*
    Actually, I’m worse. I don’t even need photographic evidence. My creative juices flow all on their own. Exhibit A:

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