The Little Things

The week after The Final Goodbye was tough.
I don’t think the situation had properly registered with me before and this was the first time I really felt like it was over.
I can also safely say that during that week, I was THE MOST needy I’d ever been before in my life.
On one particularly bad night, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook Chat and said:
I’ll be honest – I was only maybe 80% joking.

But for me, while it was tough knowing that I couldn’t talk to my best friend anymore and couldn’t text every single detail of my day to him, the physical intimacy was the thing that got to me most that week.
And I’m not talking about the dirty stuff, so quiet your cat calls.
You know, the little things like holding someone’s hand or feeling a hand in hidden places like the back of your neck.
Curling up on the couch and stretching your legs across someone.
Feeling a hand much bigger than yours grip around your wrist or cradle your face.
Feeling someone’s fingers knotted in your hair.
Or just being held, not because you’re sad or drunk, but because it’s a normality.

I felt particularly bad for some of my male friends that week who had bear the brunt of my neediness and found themselves putting up with their You Used To Be Cool friend asking them for cuddles, linking them and forcing them to hold hands.
Definitely not my proudest moments.

Thankfully I’m back on track now and while the longings still haven’t subsided, I’m no longer the crazy girl leaning against men on public transport and taking not-so-subtle sniffs of their musk.
Although we all have our moments of weakness…


13 Comments on “The Little Things”

  1. aww the breakup is tough. But you should think that you can get through this. This craving will subside. You’ll soon be ready to find another partner. Best of luck! x

    p.s. yep, I did laugh reading your question re the prostitute!! ahahahhahahaha!!!

  2. Magatha May says:

    the lack of physical touching was the toughest part of break up of a long term relationship for me too but it does get easier… I promise

  3. Jax says:

    Aw.. 😦 it gets easier eventually. Hang in there.

    Also, I’m so glad you’re still writing. πŸ™‚

  4. Aw. It gets much better though, to parrot everyone above. This is coming from a person who once kinda-accidentally-on-purpose-but-not-really grabbed a strangers hand while crossing the road while single. So I definitely know what I’m talking about.

  5. terra says:

    What a tough time to go through a crazy move like that. Glad you’re feeling back to yourself and I hope it continues to get easier.

  6. I always find your posts on the breakup really really interesting. I hope you’re feeling back on track now and that you’re ready to be just you, and not one half of a couple πŸ™‚ I think everyone has/needs one Big Breakup like this at least once in their lives and after a good, good while, it really does make you stronger *awful cliches aplenty here*. Seriously though πŸ™‚ Also I don’t mean to pry, but when I’m reading this posts I’m constantly pondering if He’s read them too. Do you know if he does…. really cheeky question I know, don’t answer if you don’t want to! xxx

    ps: staying over at my house, boy or girl, always means you’re obliged to listen to my half-joking-but-not-really demands to be spooned, so I hear ya. And I’m not even suffering a break up…

    • CC says:

      I’ll need to start curbing them though…it’s turning into The Break-Up Blog, lol!

      And no, he’s definitely not reading the posts on this blog because we talked the last time I saw him and I explained I’d rather just have this be my space and not give him the url, which he understood. He’s a good sort, so he is!

  7. Eve says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that you had such a hard time. I mean I suppose it is fairly normal, but we always hope we’ll be able to get through it without all of the heartache.
    I have definitely used my best guy friend as a source of hugs or hand holds when I needed it πŸ™‚
    I simply adore your background by the way! It’s fantastic!

  8. DeAnna says:

    I’m still a newer reader, but I was almost crying at this post. It reminds me of the heartache I’ve felt. Break ups are always hard and not having the cuddling, hand holding, and just big hugs are always the worst part. I’ve learned that it is then that I depend on my friends the most.
    Don’t worry everything will work out. I’ve always been told if you still don’t know why things happen then you haven’t reached the end yet because in the end all makes sense πŸ˜€

    Love the new look!

  9. hermia you have a new blog…where have i been!
    i’m so sorry to hear about your breakup, can’t imagine how hard it is for you at the minute but time is the best healer!
    the new blog looks beautiful, as do your photos!

  10. lil-bee says:

    Aww 😦

    Well I’m glad you’ve picked yourself up πŸ˜› more sniffing could have landed you in jail haha

    Also, omg I love the first photograph! Do they have mini-typewritters like that? I’d so buy one!

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