Let me tell you about the time I….was asked for my number

I was standing at the bus stop freezing my ass off this morning when a rather familiar young chap appeared at the other side of the commuter group.
Hmmmm….where did I know him from?
He glanced in my direction, caught my eye and looked away immediately, looking uncomfortable.

Jesus, he’s obviously not pleased to see me.
That really didn’t narrow it down.
Who the hell IS he!?

Eventually I remembered that he used to work a couple of shops down from Lentra.
Ah.
Mayo Boy.
Cue the lightbulbs and falling pennies.
Now I know why he’s not pleased to see me….

Flashback
Flashback
Flashback

Every Saturday, he’d come in for his lunch just before we closed up the deli
And every Saturday we’d make awkward conversation until I’d made his sandwich.

See, I attract weirdos.
I always have and probably always will.
I think it’s because I’m so socially awkward and uncomfortable when I meet new people that I willingly latch on to anyone remotely friendly (weirdos are normally over-eager to make conversation) and then the connection has been made before I realise that I’m about to befriend someone who probably has a creepy doll collection and dresses up as his mother.
At that stage it’s impossible to shake them.

Mayo Boy wasn’t VERY weird, but he was definitely a little strange in the I-wouldn’t-feel-comfortable-being-left-in-a-room-alone-with-you way.
He was also about a foot shorter than me.

This particular day he came in acting stranger than usual.
Mayo Boy: Can I get a *insert ingredients here* roll
Me: Sure. Do you want butter or mayo?
Mayo Boy: URGH! NO! Not mayo!! Just butter! Not mayo!
Me: Eh…ok…no mayo then.
Mayo Boy: Mayo is TERRIBLE.
Me: *shrugs shoulders* Well I like it.
Mayo Boy: You shouldn’t eat it. Mayonnaise makes you die.
Me: *pauses* Excuse me?
Mayo Boy: It makes you die.
Me: Eh…right…but not really.
Mayo Boy: No, it does. It makes you die.
*awkward silence ensues*
Me: Well here’s your roll.
Mayo Boy: Can I get your number?
Me: *looks around in a panicked manner, partly hoping no one heard that, partly hoping someone would rescue me*
Mayo Boy: *looks painfully hopeful*
Me: Eh….no….sorry.
Mayo Boy: Oh…why?
Me: *can’t believe he’s asking that question* I have a boyfriend.
Mayo Boy: Oh.
Me: Yeah.
Mayo Boy: *continues to stand there making eye contact*
Me: *wondering if he’s attempting Jedi mind control* Well, I’ve got to go do stuff in the back room.
Mayo Boy: Ok. *walks off slowly*
Boy (now known as The Boy): *appearing from nowhere* Why is your face so red? What happened? Did something happen with X?

After forcing me to tell him by applying the art of merciless pestering, Boy then proceeded to vandalise my Bebo page with drawings of the event…
And that is how Mayo Boy got the name ‘Mayo Boy’.

EDIT: Some genius readers suggested posting the drawing The Boy did, which is obviously an AMAZING idea, making me an idiot for not thinking of it. However, The Boy thought he was really cool and deleted his Bebo account a couple of years ago and when he did that, all the comments he left and pictures he did were also deleted, so I don’t have them anymore!
I will see if I can persuade him to recreate one of them tonight though!

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22 Comments on “Let me tell you about the time I….was asked for my number”

  1. Meream says:

    I want to see the drawings! πŸ˜€

  2. Zoe says:

    Haha, wonder what Mayo boy is still doing around about the big schmoke! Awkward! I attract weirdoes all the damn time, for the exact same reasons!

  3. Conor says:

    Ha! Right up to the very last sentence I thought he was just a boy from Mayo. Didn’t make the connection to the mayo on the roll at all.

    Fast thinking though coming up with a coherent excuse. I once told a girl I wasn’t interested in “Sorry, I have to go… meet with the people… at the place… before…” then sort of wandered off. Not my finest hour.

  4. CUE THE DRAWINGS?!

    Yes?…Yes?!…No?

  5. Jules says:

    haha, great story! I too thought the lad was actually from mayo….!! x

  6. Blau von T says:

    sigh YOU dont still have your Bebo do you..tut tut

    • Yeah I do, but that’s only because I’m a hoarder by nature. Can’t stand to let the memories go. Today was the first time I signed in since the ‘Bebo Is Being Deleted’ scare last year when I went to retrieve old photos and the likes. I’d say I’ve logged in maybe four times in the last three years.

  7. Laura says:

    I always love your stories, too funny!

    ps Loving the new layout, you really do miss out reading everything via reader!

  8. Karin says:

    HA! Genius! “It makes you die…” oh dear god! The worst asking for a number I got was some overly confident, absolute muppet who strolled up like he was the shizz, looked at me with this cocky grin and went, “08…?”

    Me: “ehh.. 08 what…?”
    Muppet: (looking confused): “08… 6? 5?”
    Me: “08… 2?”
    Muppet: (looking confused): “What network is that?”
    Me: “the made up one…”

    πŸ™‚

  9. Soooali says:

    Hope he’s working hard on those drawings! I expect them in the morning! x

  10. Oh my sides hurt from the “MAYO MAKES YOU DIE” bit. That really is amazing!

  11. dannidupa says:

    Your anecdotes never fail to make me laugh. This number-getting scenario sounds all too familiar to something I unwillingly experienced the other day!

  12. terra says:

    Mayo makes you die? Dramatic much? What a nut. And then he asks for your number? Poor dude….

  13. Love all the Lentra nicknames – pressure is on the Boy now πŸ˜‰

  14. that story made me laugh! thanks for brightening up my thurday morning πŸ™‚

  15. Aisling says:

    darn! would love to have seen the drawings πŸ™‚ mayo boy sounds a little creepy… and FYI, I love mayo and it will only ever make you die of HAPPINESS. πŸ˜›

  16. […] ← Let me tell you about the time I….was asked for my number February 17, 2011 · 3:52 pm ↓ Jump to […]

  17. Emma says:

    That is an awkward turtle moment! Why are they always so persistent! x


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