Let me tell you about the time I…was in an elevator with Practically Naked Guy

It was last Friday morning.
It had already been a peculiar morning because I was early enough to grab some breakfast.
And by breakfast I mean pain au chocolat heated for 15secs in the microwave.

I hopped into the lift and after doing the math and realising that I’d need two hands to open my umbrella once I got outside, I shoved the last half of my breakfast into my mouth, telling myself that no one ever seemed to get the lift with me in the mornings so no one would see me with food protruding from my mouth.

And then the lift stopped.
And in got one of my African neighbours from downstairs.
One of my male neighbours.
In a far too small bathrobe that he was unsuccessfully trying to pull around his whole self.

And he had nothing on underneath.
And I mean nothing.

Oh dear…

So I politely looked in an opposite direction, which happened to be the back of the elevator.
Which is completely covered in a mirror.

Crap.

So I look at another point in the elevator, struggling to chew the food in my mouth.

And then Practically Naked Guy says “Hello”.

Who says “Hello” to somebody who’s politely ignoring them because of partial nudity in a small space!?

And then I realised I recognised him as the Chatty African Neighbour as opposed to the Unfriendly African Neighbour.
(as you can see, we don’t know any of our neighbours names)

At this point my mouth was too full to speak, so I smiled and looked away again.

“It’s very early, isn’t it?”

Really!?
Is he REALLY doing this?

Again, I nod and smile and scratch my nose in an attempt to cover my unattractive chewing.

“So…” he says.

Oh dear God, please stop!

“….this is awkward,” he finishes.

Again I nod and smile (and chew).

“Cos I’m in a robe,” he continues.

This isn’t actually happening, is it?
Hurry up lift!

I’d managed to swallow a significant portion of my mouthful, which made it easier to breathe.

“Well, I won’t ask,” I said.

“Ha ha, thanks,” he said. “I appreciate it!”

What the hell is he up to?
Walk of Shame, maybe?

And then the lift finally landed on the ground floor and I was free.

And there was the postman with a package for Practically Naked Guy.

I know, I enjoyed that irony too….

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18 Comments on “Let me tell you about the time I…was in an elevator with Practically Naked Guy”

  1. White Rabbit says:

    BAH HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    How he thought the postman would love a look at his danglies is beyond me!

    • Lol, I knew you’d be the first comment!

      Yeah, I presume the postman buzzed his apartment and he was in a hurry so threw whatever on….but like, would boxers REALLY have taken that long to put on?

  2. Sara says:

    hahahaha I always do that! AND get embarassed every single time, people catch me in the most awkward positions in the lift example; pulling out a wedgie (sp?)

  3. Herself says:

    Hilarious! 🙂 Awkward lift moments – happens to us all. Mine involved a former navy officer and two scantilly clad hookers in an airport hotel in Atlanta, Georgia. Unique, if nothing else.

  4. Kar says:

    I don’t understand people who choose to ignore it when you’re obviously ignoring them… go away, I’m pretending not to see you, how do you not get that!

  5. White Rabbit says:

    Maybe he was on his way to invite the Postman in for some lovin’

  6. Rest_Energy says:

    I don’t get why some people end up like that, I understand if he was caught off guard and was told to go down immediatly but it only takes a second or two to quickly put on some trousers or pyjama bottoms. Still, at least he had a sense of humour about it – I’m sure you’ll never look at him in the same way again!

  7. White Rabbit says:

    Priceless! :))

  8. JGM says:

    You know, there are times when I wish something exciting and out of the ordinary would happen to me….thank goodness you just discouraged that 🙂

  9. Emma says:

    hahaha thats hilarious!

    I love the way you tell your stories

    x

  10. TheShape says:

    I did see a naked guy walking around apartment building once. He had been locked out by his mates.

  11. Terra says:

    Hahaha! Absolutley hilarious!

  12. Little Bird says:

    This is very awkward, I would be so embarrassed.

  13. Clara says:

    LOLOL! I love that he actually lampshaded the awkward moment. 8D
    xx

  14. alexdonald says:

    Love the punchline!


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